But the LORD said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't make decisions the way you do! People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at a person's thoughts and intentions."
1 Samuel 16:7 NLT
When raising our children with grace we should consider the heart before making punishment decisions. You and I should always try to determine the reasons behind our child’s actions before deciding on discipline. A pure heart, one that really would rather not have done wrong, but just made a mistake, should be treated differently from a rebellious heart.
I have had lots of opportunities with my boys to use this principle. There was the time, for example, when one of my sons went somewhere without permission. It really was not a “big deal”, but he purposefully tried to keep us from knowing where he was, because he thought we would have told him he couldn’t go. (What he didn’t realize is that we would have said “yes” under the circumstances.) This offense was treated much differently than other times where I really felt he just “forgot” to call.
If you are raising your children to be good, moral citizens, then you should examine where there heart is before issuing punishment and you should discipline accordingly. Let the attitude of the heart help determine the severity of your wrath!
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I may not see in front of me, But I can see for miles around when I look over my shoulder, and Lord, it`s clear. You`ve brought me here, So faithful every step of the way. What can I do but follow you, For You are the Way, the Truth, the Life, And You`ve promised never to leave me, My Savior, my friend, From beginning to end. 
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