I may not see in front of me, But I can see for miles around when I look over my shoulder, and Lord, it`s clear. You`ve brought me here, So faithful every step of the way. What can I do but follow you, For You are the Way, the Truth, the Life, And You`ve promised never to leave me, My Savior, my friend, From beginning to end.
I Am Found In You
by
Steven Curtis Chapman
And "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry… Ephesians 4:26 NLT
The second ground rule my wife and I have for our marriage is that we never go to bed angry with each other. I know that sounds impossible for some couples, but we have taken this Biblical principle serious in our marriage, and we simply refuse to go to sleep at night angry with one another.
This has been a real challenge, because my wife prefers not to have confrontation. I may want to fight about an issue, but she wants to escape the situation. Early in our marriage I found that she would actually disappear when there was an argument between us. I would go to look for her, but she would have already gone to bed. She might even pretend to be asleep, all to avoid a fight. If we were going to obey our “rule”, someone had to break the silence.
Another aspect of this is that as much as I enjoy a good fight, I sometimes knew that being silent was the “best” approach with my wife. If I avoided her, sulked in another part of the house, ignoring her for a while, she would be even more hurt and mad. (Sorry to admit it, but I actually learned to “punish” my wife with silence.) The problem was that if we were going to obey our rule, one of us had to start the conversation.
As spiritual leader I realized that this was first and foremost my responsibility, so as hard as it might be on my ego, I knew I had to begin to resolve our anger with each other before we could go to sleep for the night. We didn’t necessary have to solve the issue, but we had to be okay with each other.
I can promise you this, if you allow anger to build into the next day, it will be bigger than it was when you went to bed. Before you turn out the lights at night, release the anger you have between you. This one “rule” will greatly protect your marriage.
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