1 Restore us, O LORD, and bring us back to you again! Give us back the joys we once had! Lamentations 5:21 NLT

This series will focus on the need for married couples to provide some ground rules for their marriage. This is not an attempt to legislate our home, but an attempt to protect our marriage. I have discovered that if couples will agree to a few simple “rules”, and stick with them, many conflicts they normally have will be minimized. To illustrate this process, I am sharing some of the ground rules my wife and I have established for our marriage.

The first ground rule for our marriage is that we expect feelings to change over time. Along with this, we expect that trials will come in our marriage, which have the opportunity to adversely or positively affect our marriage.

I see too many couples who think something is wrong with them because they don’t seem to have that “first love” feeling they had when they were dating. Relationships change over time and the feelings that go along with those changes do likewise. We can’t live by how we feel all the time. I may wake up tomorrow morning and not “feel” that God loves me, but He does. I may wake up and not “feel” as in love with my wife, but I know I’ve made a commitment to her that is bigger than my emotions.

The fact is that a proper understanding of the emotional highs and lows of a relationship can actually mature the relationship. If a couple will remain committed to each other, throughout the ups and downs of emotions, the marriage will develop deeper levels of love and intimacy. The same is true in our spiritual life with our relationship with God. As we mature together, not getting discouraged by the sometime absence of an emotional feeling, our love will grow beyond our wildest dreams.

I love watching my grandparents interact with each other. Having been married over 60 years they certainly had to weather days, perhaps even seasons of time, where their feelings for each other struggled. They remain committed to each other and today their love is so obvious to everyone around them.

If you are in a marriage and the good feelings are shallow or maybe even gone, consider the commitment you have made to your spouse. Ask God to begin to restore the joy in your marriage and the love for the one you once loved.

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